I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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