My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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