i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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