return my video game
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
