Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
