Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
