Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize