I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My brain says no but my pants say off.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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