Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
