ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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