Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
