ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
