Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
