You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Are we still banned from the library?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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