Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
