Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize