Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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