so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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