is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize