She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize