I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
