then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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