I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
