make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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