you win again, gameday.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
