Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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