the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
