awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
