we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
