Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i think my cat just said my name.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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