You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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