he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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