i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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