i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
