Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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