Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
