I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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