About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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