Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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