So drunk, too bad you don't want this
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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