No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
