"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think people are normalizing furries
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
