Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
