sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
