dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
