Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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