She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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