Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
