at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
