why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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