he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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