fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So much rum. So many feels.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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