i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize