Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
