dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
