C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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