is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
