May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
