Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
