I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
