I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize