So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
