The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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