i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
