That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
