I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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