Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You're completely useless in the revolution.
My nipple is on Facebook.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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