And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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