ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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