but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
