I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
