I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
