sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize