He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize